Feedback — making it a positive experience for everyone 

Feedback is a valuable — and I would argue, essential — part of working life, but making it a positive experience for everyone takes practice.  

None of us can operate in a vacuum; feedback is the only way to discover how you are perceived by others. If we understand how others see us, we gain a vital perspective on our own performance, which can influence our learning and development and that of those around us. As I’ve previously mentioned, author Tasha Eurich’s book ‘Insight’ explains that seeking feedback is a more effective tool than self-reflection to gain insight into ourselves and improve our self-awareness. 

I’ve blogged before about the importance of organisations in developing a culture which supports positive, well-considered, regular and constructive feedback and how this can be a brilliant tool for the encouragement of an individual or team. Feedback can help identify strengths and areas of development, as well as skills and future areas of improvement.  Practical, targeted feedback can improve performance, raise awareness, build confidence and help career progression.  

Delivering feedback in a safe space that is timely, consistent and authentic creates ‘positive feedback loops’ between people, creating healthy, reciprocal relationships and opportunities for them to work towards improving and achieving.

Giving and receiving feedback — start with yourself 

So far, so good. But it’s worth taking a moment to recognise some of the fundamental truths and potential pitfalls of feedback. Receiving and giving feedback can be a daunting exercise for all concerned. It is important that it’s seen as a two-way, interactive and communicative process. 

Before you give anyone feedback, you need to seek it out for yourself first. As a leader, it’s beneficial to be on the receiving end of feedback for a number of reasons. Firstly, for your own development, to benefit from the learning opportunities it might present you.  

Secondly, being a leader who is open to feedback is great role-modelling for your team. If you can ask for – and receive – feedback well, it demonstrates to everyone else that the working climate is open, supportive, honest and communicative. 

Finally, receiving feedback helps develop empathy and understanding. Seeking and receiving feedback can be a little nerve-wracking, even potentially uncomfortable. Having first-hand experience of this helps develop skills that will make your feedback to others more effective and will help them recognise that your message is coming from a supportive, constructive place with positive intention to help someone improve.  

Asking for feedback means making yourself vulnerable; it requires a level of bravery. As a giver of feedback, you’ll need to remember to check your intention. You need to ensure you have a positive intention to help the person receiving the feedback – this could be to help raise someone’s awareness, to help them grow, to help them learn or to support them improve future performance. Or to praise, reinforce, or build their confidence. The recipient needs to know that you’re giving them feedback positive or negative to help them succeed, not to ‘tell them off’ or to point-score. If you’re going to be honest — and you should — you need to consider how your feedback will stimulate development, learning, awareness and action; ask questions to prompt reflection, encourage exploration and experimentation.  

As the receiver of feedback, you too have a responsibility to contribute to this two-way conversation. It can be difficult sometimes to pluck up the courage to give feedback to managers — but they need to hear how to get the best from you — and when things about their leadership don’t work for you. Remember, feedback doesn’t always have to be critical — it can be positive too. They don’t have a crystal ball to know what you are thinking and feeling, so help them manage you better by letting them know what I and isn’t working for you in their leadership approach/feedback style. 

Formal or informal?  

Feedback can be divided into two types: formal, and informal. Depending on the type, there are different ways of seeking feedback. Both can use quantitative and qualitative measures to help spot trends and patterns in the employee’s performance.  

Formally, many organisations set out regular intervals during the year to review performance, including annual/half yearly appraisals involving feedback from a line manager. Some companies encourage employees to take part in formal  ‘360’ feedback: a process named because it seeks responses from multiple sources, attempting to give a broader perspective on performance and areas for development, as well as promoting communication channels and openness in the workplace. To gain a higher level of honesty, this feedback is sometimes collected anonymously and in other cases people are encouraged to own their feedback; both have pros and cons. Whatever the method, it’s vital that the feedback giver remembers there is a human on the receiving end of it. There should always be a sense of accountability and responsibility, respect and care for the effect that feedback might have on the recipients. 

Formal feedback needs to be delivered carefully, keeping the outcomes and benefits for the person receiving it at the forefront. Sadly, annual appraisals often fall short in their effectiveness with individuals. A recent Gallup survey showed that traditional, formal reviews can have an adverse effect on performance. There can be many reasons for this: managers not being well-informed, the feedback is too far removed in time from the events raised, or a lack of context in the quantitative or qualitative material. The anonymous nature of some 360 feedback approaches can also prevent a two-way discussion, which can reduce its long-term impact. Formal anonymous feedback can work well though at a company level such as employee engagement surveys, to identify and evaluate trends, patterns, or pulse check the way people feel about the whole organisation or a specific product or service. 

Informal feedback is a more organic process and can be driven much more by you as the recipient. The beauty of informal feedback is that it can be sought spontaneously at the right moment for example, after you’ve done something for the first time, used a new skill, when you complete a project, have launched a new initiative or when you’ve completed something you found tricky. Getting specific, tailored feedback immediately means you can put any refinements into practice straight away and help shape your future trajectory.  

Making feedback work for you. 

Once you’re received your feedback, there are some things you can do to make it work for you.  

Combat your negativity bias

As humans, we all have a negativity bias. We tend to focus on the negative comments we’ve received, rather than the positive. If you do get some critical feedback, firstly try and balance it out against the positives you’ve doubtless also received. Try to shift your mindset  to focus on the good and how you can  use the positives to further develop your strengths. Be cautious about over analysing one comment or ruminating on one part of the feedback. 

Reflect, don’t just reject

When you read the feedback, there is often a lot to digest, there may be comments you don’t like that trigger a kneejerk defensive reaction. But before rejecting it, pause to reflect. Remember feedback is an external perspective from someone else trying to help you. Think about their intention, can you learn anything?  Can you accept there is some truth to it? Consider your mindset when receiving it, do you need to take a break and come back and think about it on a different day. Also, consider it differently – maybe it tells you more about them and what they need from you, if you do know who has given the comment it may give you a deeper insight into them.

Spot the trends 

Take an overview of the feedback looking to spot any patterns, trends or even disparities. Any recurring themes – positive or negative – can help you form a strategy for your future development. Highlight anything that strikes you as a recurring theme to your manager so you can discuss them together. These don’t necessarily have to be negatives – they could be strengths that you hadn’t acknowledged prior to receiving the feedback. Make sure you include those too. 

Empower yourself

This is your feedback and it’s up to you to choose what to do with it. Filter out anything you feel is genuinely unfair or unhelpful, but only after you’ve thought hard about the intention behind it. How you respond and react to the feedback is within your control as is how you let it affect you. Empower yourself in choosing what bits will help you learn, grow and develop and let go of anything you don’t agree with and don’t feel is helpful or a priority for you. 

 Protect your relationship

Don’t let ‘negative’ feedback damage your relationship with the person who gave it to you. They’ve gifted you an opportunity to learn and change. Remember that it takes bravery to be honest; you need to respect that in the person who’s taken the time to give you their thoughts. While you don’t necessarily have to take on board every negative comment, or explain yourself to the feedback giver, you do have to work together in the future. Holding on to negativity about them won’t be useful or helpful for your working relationship. 

Be brave, be curious and seek feedback to help your personal learning and see how it helps you. 

If you’d like some ideas about making feedback a positive experience for everyone, email me to book a first free session.